What is Self-Love?
What is self-love, and how can you find it? For some it’s easy to find - they grew up with strong role models ; saw women and girls that looked like them in high career positions, magazine covers, television and movies; was told repeatedly how pretty they were; and/or they just fit the mold of what is and was classified as “pretty.” For others it didn’t or doesn’t come quiet as easy - they didn’t see their body type or shade of skin in magazines or in the movies; they weren’t told how pretty they were growing up; and/or they didn’t have role models to look up to for advice and encouragement.
Now more than ever self-love is important and it’s important for people to continue to talk about it! With social media continuing to be on the rise with influencer’s there has to be a continuous voice yelling… YOU ARE ENOUGH! (insert quote from The Help, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important). It can be hard seeing images over and over of “perfect”, “beautiful” women, and a voice telling you that you’re not thin enough, light enough, big chested enough. Self-Love is about removing all those images and focusing on your inner self. It’s about not comparing yourself to others standards and knowing YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL inside and out, and you are worth more!
We caught up with Fayola Benjamin, lawyer and mental health/self love advocate, to discuss what self-love means to her, advice on helping others find self-love, and why representation in the fashion industry is important:
“Self love is accepting all that you are. It means appreciating that you are enough, you are valuable, worthy and deserving JUST BECAUSE. It’s acknowledging that while you do have insecurities, quirks, things you wish you could change, these things do not affect your worth and value. Self-love means investing in and taking care of your mental, physical and emotional self and not settling for anything other than what you deserve.”
What Tips or advice do you have to help others find self love?
1. Start prioritizing your feelings.
When you acknowledge how you feel, you become conscious of why you feel that way. It’s then easier to identify what negative thoughts/experiences are attached to the WHY. That’s where the work begins.
2. Speak positively about yourself.
Find a mantra and repeat it to yourself when you feel insecure or bad about yourself. Mine is ‘you are enough, you are beautiful, you are powerful. Validate yourself.
We are our on worst critics. But, what if we poured love and light into yourself? What you hear is what you internalize and believe.
3. Treat yourself like someone you love.
Think of yourself as the person you love the most and want to be happy. Now, add something to your everyday routine that will make you feel happy, and do it as often as you can. This can be taking a bath, eating a healthy meal, moving your body, painting your nails, going for a walk etc.
4. Do the internal work.
At the end of the day there is only so much going for a walk and positive self-talk can do. You need to dig deep and do the inside work. If that means talking to someone, actively rewiring how you view yourself, dealing with trauma, that’s the work that needs to be done so you can heal and learn to love who you are.
How important body representation is in the fashion industry?
“Representation in the fashion industry is very essential. Representation is important for people to know that there literally is nothing wrong with the way they are. Not being able to see your body represented in the brands that supposedly are for you, is damaging. Representation also takes pressure off of feeling the need to conform to a specific mold. It eases the stress of trying to ‘fit’ and the negative space that comes with that. The industry moving to a place of inclusivity supports the necessary shift that there is no standard of beauty, size, image. There is also no body, size, image that is more deserving than any other.”
LIVE YOU. LOVE YOU
XO,
Maria LyVonne
