Self-Care Unleashed: Discovering Your Best Self

A common question I often hear is “how do I prioritize self-care?” The answer to this question isn’t one size fits all. Self-care looks different for us all as we navigate through different phases of our lives. There are the women who are “married” to their career and struggle disconnecting; the mom who can’t seem to get a break from the constant yelling of “mommy”; the single mom who’s balancing being the mom and dad role or the two-parent household where the woman feels responsible to care for her kids and her significant other… No matter your situation I think we can all agree that we’re not alone when it comes to struggling to find the “balance” and prioritize our needs.

As women our nature is to give and nurture those around us, but we often forget to do the same for ourselves. For some it’s the feeling of guilt, not feeling there’s enough time, and/or no self-awareness until it’s too late. I have fortunately always been a huge advocate for self-care – I love a good #selfcaresunday… Some might say I can take it to the extreme, but I’m aware of what I physically and mentally need to show up as my best self for my family, friends, and co-workers. I write all this not to gloat in the face of my readers, but to shed light on you can’t give if there’s nothing left in the tank to give.

So now you’re probably thinking to yourself right now, “Okay, so what do we do with this so called light that you’ve so generously shed on us?” I’m getting there, but before I go there, I want to stress that what works for me might not be the solution for you. I’ve been working on myself for awhile now and reading a lot of books on joy and mental wellness. My goal is to inspire you to try out a few ways to help get you to where you want to be physically and mentally. Okay, let’s jump into the first phase of my routine.

Step 1: Find 5-10 minutes of space where you can sit in silence and reflect on when and where you feel the most relaxed. What are you doing? Who are you with? How do you feel? When the time is up write down your answers. *There is no wrong answer!

Step 2: Bring your answers into reality. For example, I know I’m feeling my best when I’m on vacation laying on the beach looking at the ocean. Now, wouldn’t it be nice to be on vacation all the time? Yes, but not a reality for most of us. The way I bring this to reality is by soaking in my bathtub with candles lit around me either listening to serene music with my eyes closed, reading a book, or watching my favorite show. This activity gives me the same sensation as lying on the beach.

Step 3: Ask yourself (be honest) if time wasn’t a problem (which it isn’t, but we’ll get into that in a different blog 😉) how much time do you need daily for yourself? For example, I need a minimum of 30 minutes a day on the weekdays and 1 hour a day on the weekend.

Step 4: Look at your weekly schedule and rank your tasks from the most important (meaning if this task doesn’t get done then my kids can’t eat, etc.)  to least important (meaning no one is going to die if this doesn’t get complete, etc.). Then make a note or symbol next to each task if it brings you joy or not.

Step 5: Throughout the next couple of weeks look at ways to minimize your least important tasks (that don’t bring you joy) and substitute that time for your self-care. You can minimize your tasks by delegating, removing, and/or shortening the length of time you give to this task. I try to give myself self-care time during the weekdays from 7:30pm-8:00pm and 9:30pm-10:30pm. During the weekend, as a family, we practice 1 hour of “quiet time” to do with as we please. I also make it a habit to take a relaxing bath and do a full facial routine on Sundays.

In my next blog post I will share steps on how I juggle all the things that bring me joy with my daily tasks, but until then get creative with your schedule and find what works best for YOU!

Live You. Love You

XX,