This Year I'm Saying No!

Growing up, I often observed women saying "yes" more frequently than "no," even when their expressions hinted otherwise. It seemed like they felt obligated to comply, regardless of their existing commitments or personal plans.

As an adult, I question whether we're perpetuating this cycle ourselves or if it's an enduring societal norm. To that, I emphatically say, "NO!" I refuse not only to subject myself to such situations but also to serve as a role model suggesting that this is an unavoidable aspect of womanhood.

We, as women, have a responsibility to set an example for the younger generation. It's crucial to demonstrate that it's perfectly acceptable to decline tasks we lack time for, feel too drained to tackle, or simply don't wish to undertake. Although breaking this pattern is challenging, consistent practice and self-awareness can make a difference.

Being a mom and wife can be particularly challenging, considering the persistent stereotype that wives should juggle home responsibilities, work, and nursing duties. However, I believe this isn't solely a burden imposed by society; our significant others also play a part. Therefore, it's vital to establish clear boundaries and expectations in these relationships, ensuring a fair distribution of responsibilities.

The pressure on women to excel in various roles—from active involvement in their children's school activities to managing household tasks and meeting professional expectations—seems unending. I say, "Enough is enough!" Continuing this pattern does not set a positive example for our children or younger colleagues.

While I don't advocate shirking responsibilities, the expectation to do it all is unrealistic. It's time to discard this list of impractical expectations. I challenge all of us to jot down tasks we feel obligated to handle alone, then rip it up and cast it aside. We deserve better!

I'm not claiming to flawlessly embody this philosophy, but I am continually evolving and becoming more self-aware when I find myself slipping into the habit of being a "yes" woman. My competitive nature makes me want to match other women's feats, but I've learned the importance of questioning if they genuinely enjoy their responsibilities and if they still find time for themselves.

To those women who relish taking on everything, I say, "More power to you, sis!" For those who share my sentiments, let's read on.

After tearing up your task list, sit down with your significant other, if applicable, and explain why things need to change. Collaborate on what that change looks like for your household. In my home, my husband and I share financial responsibilities, and we've agreed on the household tasks each of us handles. We also prioritize self-care, recognizing that a balanced partnership requires effort from both sides.

Since practicing saying "NO" more than "YES," I feel like my best self. I'm more present with my loved ones, and I've achieved a sense of balance between self-care and helping others. It didn't happen overnight; it took numerous conversations and resetting expectations. If anyone challenges me, I challenge them back to try the same.

My hope is that this blog inspires women to say "no" more often, prioritize self-care, and set realistic boundaries. Your friends will understand, your family will catch on, your boss will adapt, and most importantly, your inner self will thank you.

Here's to the year of practicing "NO"!

Live You. Love You