Obstacle Overload: Slow Down, Reflect, and Pivot to Power Up Your Self-Care
Last week, I wrote about being in a funk and not feeling motivated to do much. I discussed how, during these periods, we can feel as though others think we’re being lazy, or we might tell ourselves that we should be doing something every moment. For me, the true meaning of these feelings is a sign to slow down, reflect, and pivot. Feelings of demotivation and other emotions can be seen as obstacles, just like all the tangible things we believe get in our way of taking care of ourselves, such as responsibilities, lack of time, the weather, traffic, etc.
Many of us face similar obstacles, but why is it that some people overcome these obstacles while others continue to sit and focus on what’s stopping them from doing what they want and need in their life? I started reading the book “The Obstacle Is The Way” by Ryan Holiday. From what I’ve read so far, he writes about perceived obstacles and how the events that take place in our lives are neither good nor bad; we assign meaning to the event based on the stories we tell ourselves. Some of us look at obstacles as opportunities to better ourselves, while others become frozen and defeated by them. Some of us view obstacles as chances to turn something negative into something good, while others focus on all the reasons, they can’t do something.
Think about all the reasons you’ve told yourself why you can’t do the things you want and need for your self-care. Think about what’s truly stopping you from taking care of yourself in all the ways you know you should. We become frozen when it comes to prioritizing ourselves, but when it comes to outside things such as work, family, and friends, we jump into action immediately, to the point that we become exhausted and frustrated. Ryan Holiday writes about all the reasons we tell ourselves why we can’t do something, “I am so overwhelmed, tired, stressed, busy, etc.” Yet, we go out and party, take on more work projects, and say yes to events when we really mean no. He discusses how it can feel better to ignore or pretend, but deep down we know it isn’t truly going to make us feel better. What’s going to make us feel better is to act. Whether your obstacles are perceived or tangible, you must act on them. Once you start knocking down the obstacles in your way, you start to feel stronger. Holiday writes that we must greet our obstacles with energy, persistence, coherent and deliberate processes, strategic vision, craftiness, and an eye for opportunity and pivotal moments.
Reflecting on my message from last week, I shared that instead of ignoring my present emotion of being in a funk, I embraced it to better understand its cause. That is my way of strategically envisioning what needs to change to get me back on track. Self-care starts mentally, not physically – you must be in the right headspace before you can physically move into action. If you jump into physical action before you’re mentally in the right headspace, your self-care will not be sustained. In the moment, you might feel relaxed and amazing, but as soon as that activity is done, you’re going to be right back where you were – feeling stressed, burned out, and impatient with loved ones. Just as we plan for family, work, and social events, we must plan our self-care time. (Yes, it’s another task to do, but one that will bring you great joy and good health). The first step is always the hardest and most time-consuming, but once you have your self-care strategic plan in place, it will become routine. That is the goal – for you to not think about self-care as another task that needs to be completed, but rather a natural part of your life that you don’t even notice at first. However, those around you will notice because you’ll have a natural glow, more patience, be mentally present, and smile more.
Yes, it’s important to give and take care of those around us, but you can’t do that if you’re not taking care of yourself. So, stop ignoring these feelings because they’re not going to go away until you act on them by slowing down, reflecting, envisioning, and strategically planning a sustainable way to overcome the obstacles.
For more guidance on overcoming obstacles, message me at hello@lyv-on.com to learn more about my 3-step self-care framework for prioritizing self-care in your life.
Until next time, Live You. Love You.
