Navigating Womanhood: Moving Beyond Resilience and Cultivating Inner Strength
As I draft this post, an overwhelming sense of exhaustion engulfs me, pushing me to the brink of demotivation. The allure of unwinding on the couch, indulging in a binge-worthy show, or losing myself in a good book becomes almost irresistible. My patience wears thin, and I can’t seem to pinpoint why… Oh right — it's the inherent challenges of being a woman, isn't it? As women, we constantly have a running list of things to do in our heads, making it hard to wind down and decompress. The list contains things we have to complete for our families, work, friends, etc., and for some reason, our own needs either end up at the bottom of the never-ending list or don’t make the list at all.
But what if we dared to flip this perpetual list and placed our needs at the forefront? Could this intentional act rejuvenate the energy and motivation required to tend to the needs of our loved ones? I propose a life approach akin to the advice of a flight attendant: "Secure your oxygen mask before assisting others." And the hesitation creeps in—isn't that deemed selfish? Far from it! Prioritizing our needs isn't self-indulgence; rather, it's a selfless act. Approaching life in this way tends to breed greater happiness, patience, and a reduced stress level.
Although I’m feeling exhausted now, I’ve been able to reflect reflect on how to lift myself from this emotional slump. Openly communicating my feelings and needs to loved ones and my boss revealed a simple truth—I need time off. Thus, I am taking a much-deserved vacation, and not a vacation for my kid, but a vacation for me and to celebrate our friends' marriage. Knowing this is scheduled, I find the strength to fulfill the remaining tasks on my checklist before heading out.
In a recent post by Dominique Drakeford, an advocate for sustainable living, educator, writer, and mother of two, she delves into the resilience of women. Expressing weariness in having to perpetually embody resilience, particularly as a black woman, she encourages a shift in focus towards the concept of a "reservoir." This shift involves exploring the roots of our strength and our ability to regenerate. Drakeford emphasizes building and nurturing this reservoir to tap into during low moments, shifting our focus from our response to pain to our source of power. As I absorbed these words, a light bulb illuminated within me—how do we establish self-care routines to preempt these moments of "pain"? While I don't claim this plan to be foolproof, I am confident it can significantly reduce the time spent feeling exhausted or resentful due to overwhelming obligations. For those already incorporating self-care into their routines, the guilt tied to proclaiming "I come first" tends to dissipate. After all, the goal is to become a better mother, wife, daughter, employee, and friend—an authentically selfless approach to life. The age-old saying, "happy wife, happy life," may be cliché, but its essence rings true.
Let's relish the fruits of our labor. As women, we bring life into this world, assuming roles as organizers and fixers. Yet, this ability diminishes when we're burnt out. With our time on this Earth being finite, why not savor it? Cherish the little things and embrace the philosophy of "slow living," setting your pace without succumbing to external pressures. Remember, you control your to-do list; don't let it dictate your life. I often convey to my employees that unless a task is genuinely a life-or-death situation, release the pressure to accomplish it instantly. Life will persist, and it's perfectly acceptable to reshuffle priorities for a more manageable timeline. We face enough societal pressure; it's time to alleviate the burden we place on ourselves. Let's celebrate our greatness every single day and ensure our reservoirs remain abundantly full!
Live You. Love You
